A Little Bit of Life

I’ve got somethings on my mind, but idk how to explain it all correctly without it being confusing or what not. Good thing the Hatfields and McCoys is on to distract me. Good show. 

This is new to me. I’m single. Simple as that. But I have no idea what the heck I’m doing. It’s been over 6 years since I’ve ever really been single. Some people enjoy the single life. People say its cheaper and easier. Yes it might be cheaper, but there isn’t someone that you can count one every night to be there for you. I guess that’s what’s going to be the tough part about this. To be truly single. I told people I want some time off and just sit out for awhile when the truth really is that I can’t stand for that. I like having someone that I can rely on and that same person being able to rely on me at the same time. Idk when I will have that again. It may be a month again. It may be a year or longer. I just hope I can hold out for that long because ill be feeling pretty darn lonely soon enough. This is an unfamiliar place for me. It’s like a boat going into uncharted waters. You can’t stop or else you won’t find your way. You just have to keep going no matter what and eventually you’ll find your way around again. I’ll find my way around again.

“Savior” by Rise Against came on in my car as I drove home from her house. One phrase keeps replaying in my mind: “That’s when I told her I love you girl, but I’m not the answer for the questions that you still have.” 

This is one of my favorite songs, but it’s rare for me to have phrases stick in my head for hours. I guess it’s just letting me know that I wasn’t the right one for her and vice versa. That’s a possibility. If we were meant to get together maybe it will happen down the road, but right now, I’m not right for her. Which sucks but we both will get through it. We plan on staying close friends. She’s still going to work the DINO events with me. We will still hang out. But some things will be different now. It’ll be a struggle for a while I’m sure.